I recently received an email (waving to Sue in TX) that read, "I may have to stop reading your blog. While I am in awe and inspired, I also feel like an organizational failure. I bow to you. You really have it together."
There was more, but I couldn't read it because at that point I spewed an entire mouthful of coffee onto the screen of my MacBook, held my belly and laughed at the irony.
So for Sue in Texas and for anyone else who may have read my blog and mistaking thought, "wow, she's got it all together" I present to you two episodes from this weekend alone.
It was super early in the morning. We call my son the "Rooster" because he is up before sunrise each day and then wakes up the entire farm. Since we were up and I knew the grocery stores would be crazy with Turkey Day shoppers later, I did the organized, well-planned thing and decided to go shopping.
I attempted this without caffeine.
I even took one of the Twinkies with us.
We stopped at Dunkins for a muffin for the Boy and hit the dreaded grocery store just as they were unlocking the doors.
We went up and down each aisle and filled the cart higher and higher. At some point between aisle 4 and 6 the Boy gave the Girl a taste of his coffee cake muffin. She went crazy for it. And by crazy, I mean the sweet face you see in the photo above turned into a shrieking mess who NEEDED more muffin NOW!
So aisles 6 through the produce section were a blur of throwing things in the cart while girlfriend shrieked and twisted and attempted to free herself from the confines of it's belt while Big Brother beg, pleaded and whined his demands for various cookies, crackers, and other sweet treats that were at his eye level and marketed in packaging designed to allure 5 year olds. We were more entertaining that any float in the Macy's Day Parade. We were a sight to behold.
And much like marathoners who have the finish line in view, I rallied when I saw the check out lines. I tossed the contents of our heaping cart onto the belt. I gave the people behind me the look that reads, "Don't judge me, pity me because karma will get you." And that's when I realized my wallet was not in my pocket. Nor was my debit card. Nor was my credit card. Nor was any wampum or trading cards or anything else that I could barter with.
I thought it was in the car. After all, I had purchased a muffin at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru en route to Hell, um I mean the grocery store. I told the cashier I would be right back. I gave one last "don't judge me glance" to the heavy-sighing Bachelor behind me. I took the kids and jetted to the parking lot only to find some loose change that I had received at the drive-thru on the passenger seat.
Because I had found 2 dollars in the center console of the car and had paid cash there. Of course I forgot that part until I saw the change.
One quick call to my hubby alerted me to the fact that the wallet was on the table.
Where I had left it.
After I had taken it out of my pocket to make sure that my credit and/or debit card were in it before leaving that morning.
You know, because I am organized and well-planned like that.
We spent Thanksgiving at my sister's. She makes Martha Stewart look like a slacker-hostess.
She bakes the bread from scratch to make the stuffing.
Me...I open a box of Stove Top and call it a holiday. But, I digress.
We had decided to stay the night at her house and since she was putting out an elaborate feast for us on Thursday, I figured the least we could do was supply breakfast on Friday.
I bought fruit and hubby planned to make crepes. So as to be well-planned and organized, he cracked 20 eggs, mixed them with milk and vanilla and funneled it into a gallon milk container for easy transport and easy cooking in the morning.
We went to NH for Thanksgiving.
The raw egg and milk mixture spent Thanksgiving back in our fridge in Massachusetts.
Until a baby woke in the week hours and said mixture was poured into a bottle.
And 4 ounces of it were consumed before the mistake was noticed.
According to our pediatrician most US eggs are free from salmonella. That's a good thing.
She's now on 72 hour "symptom watch" though.
You know it's going to be a rough week when Hubby starts the morning by writing a note to the nanny and asks, "How do you spell diarrhea?"
And so my friends...I am organized. I am well-planned. But, by no means do I have it all together.
Happy Monday! Hope you all enjoyed the extra long holiday weekend.